Month: November 2016

Reprinted from The Infant Crier Fall 2012

For many of us, the idea of contacting our elected officials and/or key decision makers brings on a case of uneasiness; it’s a discomfort that often causes us to avoid making the contact at all!

So let’s consider the work of an advocate from another perspective. What if we remember that legislators are people just like the rest of us, people who depend on relationships to help them navigate the often troubled waters of their job.

In our daily lives, we recognize that relationships help those with whom we work — parents, children, providers — to find their footing, to help them recall their best selves and to find the strength to face the troubles of their lives with greater depth and commitment to their values and beliefs.

Now, for a moment, let’s imagine the life of a legislator — imagine the quantities of issues that cross his/her desk, imagine the information s/he is assumed to know, and imagine the decisions s/he is expected to make. When you are faced with situations in which you have to make decisions about things you know little about, what do you do? Many of us call a trusted party. We rely on one another to help us understand, to give us the critical analysis that we can’t get on our own.

You can well see the path this article is leading you toward, can’t you? You know that many people are eager to build relationships with legislators and other elected officials and key decision makers — they want to make sure that their legislator knows to call if s/he wonders about something, or at least will listen with open ears when this constituent pleads a cause. If we don’t do that same work, recognizing that our elected officials need relationships they can rely on, can we really fault them for not making the decisions we wish they would, for not understanding the issues the way we see them, for listening to the people who have fostered a relationship with them?

Hopefully, you can begin to see that making contact with your elected officials is nothing more than the beginning of a relationship. Use those fabulous relationship making skills you have honed in your practice and help these people understand the world through the eyes of a vulnerable parent and baby, help them see why investments in the first years of life have enormous fiscal and social payoffs, and let them know that you appreciate their efforts on behalf of the State of Michigan.

Think about how you like to begin relationships. Is it giving people information? Asking them about themselves? Thanking them for their work? Sharing your interests and concerns with stories? Use what you know about yourself to plan your conversation with the decision makers you intend to call.

The core message that we need to share is that Michigan is populated with an important constituent group, a group that neither votes nor can advocate for itself. This very constituent group is the future of our State — our economy, our society and our democracy. Investments in this invisible group have the capacity to dramatically improve the trajectory of our future. A few facts peppered into this core message are a great beginning for your emerging relationship with the legislators and key decision makers in your community.

We have put together some talking points and questions that may guide you as you make your advocacy approach. We urge you to do your part. Help Michigan realize the amazing returns when we do the right thing.

Brief talking points:

• High-quality investments in families with very young children have surprisingly high rates of economic and social returns.
• Toxic stress changes the very structure of the brain, decreasing the capacity of the child to learn and succeed in life.
• Supportive relationships and interventions can help parents manage the conditions that lead to toxic stress — conditions such as depression, unemployment, etc.
• The bulk of the brain is developed in the first 1,000 days of life. A healthy brain depends on high-quality relationships.
• Michigan’s future depends upon a healthy citizenry and workforce. Please make the data driven and smart investments now to realize a thriving future. Tomorrow’s workforce is being born today.
• You may not be aware, but although Michigan has been a leader in developing high-quality supports and interventions for families with young children, we have fallen behind other states that have made greater early childhood investments, allowing them to improve the lives of more children and more families. We’d like to put Michigan back in the front. I’d love to speak with you later about the work under way in Michigan and how we can give Michigan the cutting edge that will secure a thriving future.

Spread the word, build relationships and stretch your comfort zone during this important election cycle.

As you know, in our wonderful and imperfect democracy that we call the United States of America, citizens get the opportunity to vote for elected officials who will then make decisions on our behalves. Many, many decisions. And while in our imperfect democracy about half of us eligible voters filled out a ballot on Nov. 8 (and thankfully the elections are behind us now!), policymakers report hearing from only 10% to 20% of their constituents. That means that once the votes are tallied and balloons and confetti have been swept up, very few of us hold our elected officials accountable for the decisions that impact the lives of Michigan families, even though we, the people, are their bosses. And then we wonder why policymakers make choices that we don’t agree with…

This is where you come in.

I would bet that, at best, perhaps one person in the State legislature understands infant mental health.  Maybe a few understand the importance of social-emotional well-being. Maybe a few more understand the foundational importance of the first three years of life. But if the vast majority of policymakers don’t understand the importance of those first three years, the importance of safe and secure attachment of babies with caregivers, and how various programs and services throughout our state promote a strong social-emotional foundation for babies and toddlers, how can we expect them to make informed public policy decisions based on evidence and research that you know to be true?

Voting is just one step in the democratic process of an engaged electorate. Now is the time for you to make sure that those victorious candidates — as well as those who weren’t up for re-election and who will continue to serve in the next legislative session — understand that the social-emotional well-being of babies and toddlers is incredibly important. They, like all of us, need to be asking themselves, “What about the babies?” And while they certainly don’t need to become experts, policymakers should have a foundational understanding of the issues and know that they can turn to you when they have questions and need more information.

So what can you do?

Get to know your policymakers. Sign up for email bulletins from your state representative and your state senator and follow them on Facebook. Visit them during their local coffee hours or request to meet with them when they’re home in their districts (Fridays through Mondays). Invite them to visit your program, join you for a home visit, or engage them in other ways to speak to families who have been assisted by your services. Now is the time to begin educating them and building a relationship with them so they turn to you when they have questions about the needs of Michigan families with babies and toddlers and can start making informed public policy decisions.

Learn more on how to strengthen your advocacy skills by visiting the Michigan’s Children website.

Many of us have been reflecting on the current climate of our neighborhoods, our nation and our society as a whole. We feel an overwhelming need to say something, to do something, but what?  We ask ourselves how to promote peace AND speak out against discrimination, inequities, bigotry, and hatred. The current atmosphere of diversity tension, intolerance, and the avoidance of having needed intentional conversations is taking its toll on all of us.

We witness and want to support our co-workers and colleagues who have a duty to serve those who are most affected by this climate every day and who are feeling so many emotions:  sadness, frustration, anger, and confusion.  Our work requires that we offer this same mindful presence to our client families, who express these things and more.

The children all around us express fear of being hurt, bullied, or separated from parents, and their wishes are the same as those close to our hearts — for the safety to live freely, for acceptance of our unique selves, for the hope of future possibilities. They trust us to hear them.

We have so many barriers to cross, but we look for the hope in overcoming them, too, don’t we? We ask, does the recent escalation of open expression of intolerance among us (for it is not new) also offer opportunities to have important conversations? Are we more motivated now? Can we dare to acknowledge that this affects us all?

In these uncertain times we, the “helpers,” are the ones who must have the intentional conversations. We must safely and honestly talk about the injustice, hatred and intolerance in our country that too often stares in the faces of our colleagues, our clients, and our communities.  We must be willing to speak, and more important, to really listen.

To quote a wise colleague,“I feel like my silence would be worse than the wrong words.”

Let us embody the hope that compels us to work to support the health and well-being of the earliest relationships.  Let us also be caring and mindfully present in our relationships with each other.  Here is permission for us to start the conversations, the intentional conversations.