Inspired by MIHP and IMH Home Visiting Experiences
About This Letter
This story is a composite letter, created from themes and experiences shared by many Michigan families served by MIHP and Community Mental Health Infant Mental Health programs. It was written collaboratively by home visitors—past and present—who have woven together the voices of parents across Michigan, while protecting confidentiality.
How strange it is that I never met you before that day — the day you knocked on my apartment door with your bag, your clipboard, and your gentle smile — and yet, in the months that followed, you became one of the most important people in my baby’s life.
I don’t know if people say this to you very often. Maybe they should.
So I will.
I remember clearly that I did not feel relaxed when you entered my home.
When you first came, I wondered if you could tell that I felt like a scared little kid myself. I was holding so much. More than I could say out loud. More than I even knew how to understand myself.
But after just a few minutes, I felt my body soften.
I remember how you looked at my baby — not like you were assessing her, but like you saw her.
You noticed things I didn’t: the way she turned toward my voice, the tiny sigh she made when she settled in my arms.
You asked about how I chose her name.
It struck me as unusual — not many people had asked me that — but it felt good to tell the story.
When I shared she had just moved into her crib, you celebrated with me. You understood that creating a nursery was meaningful — something I never had growing up.
You said you’d love to see it sometime, when I felt comfortable.
I wanted you to see it that very day.
You noticed other things about me, too.
How my shoulders tensed when she cried.
How I apologized for everything —
for being tired,
for being overwhelmed,
for not knowing what I was doing.
You didn’t correct me.
You didn’t rush me.
You didn’t act like there was something wrong with me.
Instead, you held the moment with kindness — like maybe I wasn’t failing after all.
It felt comforting to have you come.
A feeling of safety, confidence, and hope drifted into the room with you.
As my baby grew older and I prepared to return to work, my anxiety about childcare became intense.
I told you about the fears I had — fears rooted in my own childhood — and how they caused actual physical symptoms.
Because you had been trained — because MIHP taught you what to look for, and because you were connected to other professionals who understood infant mental health — you knew there were clinicians who could help me work through the grief, the fear, and the desire to parent differently while old patterns tried to pull me back.
You said something I didn’t expect:
**“I think all new parents deserve as much support as possible.
Some families have both MIHP and IMH — not because anything is wrong,
but because early parenting can feel overwhelming when there are so many layers happening at once.
Stress, worry, past trauma, anxiety, big feelings about the pregnancy, challenges with feeding or soothing, or even feeling disconnected — all of these can make parenting feel heavier.
There are clinicians trained to help with the harder emotional pieces,
and if you’d like, I can introduce you so you don’t have to navigate any of this alone.”**
You didn’t make it sound scary.
You made it sound supportive.
You made it sound normal.
You made it sound like something people deserve, not something they “qualify” for.
And so you introduced me to the IMH clinician from CMH — someone who walked into my life quietly, respectfully, and with a kind of calm I didn’t know I needed.
And here is something I’ve never admitted out loud:
I remember noticing IMH-E® on both of your business cards.
I didn’t know exactly what it meant, but I could tell it meant something about how deeply you understood babies and parents.
In a system where trust can be fragile, that small detail — that sign of training, connection, and professionalism — helped me exhale.
It made me believe that maybe we really were in good hands.
Together, the two of you became something I didn’t know existed:
One person holding my baby’s growth and safety,
and another person helping me hold my baby’s emotional world — by helping me understand my own.
From MIHP, I learned how to feed my baby when she arched her back and screamed.
From IMH, I learned why that scream sent me into a panic that felt bigger than the moment.
From MIHP, I found routines, resources, nutrition help, safe sleep guidance, and someone to celebrate every ounce she gained.
From IMH, I found the courage to talk about my childhood, my fears, the trauma I never named, and the grief that had been numbing my connection to her.
From both of you together, I learned something I will never forget:
I was not alone. And I was not broken.
I just needed two kinds of help —
the kind that supports my baby’s needs,
and the kind that strengthens my capacity to understand, soothe, and connect with her — even in the hardest moments.
There was a day — I remember it so clearly — when MIHP closed my case.
You both came.
We took pictures in my living room.
My baby smiled at you like she knew exactly who you were.
We didn’t celebrate a “graduation.”
We celebrated growth — hers, mine, and ours together.
You said, “Look at what you’ve done.”
But what I wanted to say — what I still want to say — is:
Look at what we did together.
You made me feel like I was being held up.
Like my baby and I were worth the collaboration.
So to you —
the person who noticed,
the person who wondered,
the person who walked beside me…
Thank you.
Thank you for seeing my baby’s strengths before I could.
Thank you for seeing my pain before I named it.
Thank you for knowing I needed both MIHP and IMH — because early parenting awakens every story we’ve ever lived.
Thank you for teaching me that asking for help is something we do for our babies.
Thank you for working together.
You changed our lives more than you will ever know.
Gratefully,
A Michigan Parent
A Note from the Michigan Association for Infant Mental Health:
At MI-AIMH, we believe caregivers thrive when the professionals who support them are connected, reflective, and supported themselves. We offer training, reflective spaces, resources, and IMH-Endorsement® and ECMH-Endorsement® to strengthen Michigan’s early childhood workforce — including MIHP and IMH providers — so that families like this one experience the power of relationships, collaboration and never have to walk alone.
Thank you for the work you do, and for the relationships you build that change the earliest stories of children’s lives.